Unsubscribing to the negative.

How was your weekend? 

I used to have a manager, that would just simply say, "it is what it is."

I think I heard it some many times; that I started to subscribe to it. 

I have found myself saying that same statement for the last decade. 

However, I have decided that somethings that I have subscribed to in the past, no longer have room in my life. 

Labels for instance, for the most part; Labels Suck! 

Bad labels are laced with stereotypes, but even good labels, are still labels. 

They require the label wearer to live up to expectations, and living up to expectations can be exhausting. 

I have decided that I am not longer going to let "It is what It is" to be a theme in my life. 

However, where has that really gotten anyone? 

It is what it is - 

I understand the concept. 

Believe me, 

However,  I have a question. 

Why? 

Why does IT have power over anything? 

Here is the thing; you have the power to change IT. 

YOU. 

HAVE
THE 

POWER.

A person that I now consider a friend, but then we had just been two people that worked for the same company. I play things safe, and if rules are clearly defined for me; I tend to follow them. I don't like confrontation. So after seeing someone in our office, for the 3rd time,  her wearing oversized basket all shorts. I had to ask; why she was wearing basketball shorts to work; in an office, yes the dress code was relaxed, but basketball shorts were actually specified as something we couldn't wear.

She said - I recently lost a lot of weight; I am a single mother, so I haven't replaced a lot of my own clothing yet... I smiled and nodded, at the time I had lost some weight... So I asked her... How much did you lose, how long did it take, what did you do... so she showed me pictures,! And I was absolutely BLOWN away. Here was a woman that was standing before me that is at least 10 years older than Me, and she looked like she had lost over half of herself, it put my 20ish pounds to a shame. 

So, I asked her how did you do it? 

She smiled; she said well; I don't know if you would believe me. 

I am asked all the questions, she said there were no major Diet changes, no major exercise changes, no drugs, and no surgery. 

She said again, I don't know that you believe me, but I thought myself thin, 

Then people came into the break room. 

It would be another few years; before I would really revisit and start understanding... 

So I asked her again, so you still feel that you "thought yourself thin?" 

She said "Yes" 

I asked her as many questions as I could., then took to the internet to research, 

Years of Dieting; and nothing working. - - Is it possible, that I have the power, in my MIND, to lose weight? 

I told you; that if you stuck around; I would tell you how I lost 185 pounds. 

Life is a journey. No matter what you do, the results are going to be the same, so, why not enjoy 

Height Weight Chart With Pictures!

This chart - is something I have looked at for years. 

I went through all of the pictures for my height; my current weight; 

(and wondered, is this how others see me?) 

Then I picked a picture; of a person that had a similar body as to "in my dreams" body would look like. 

I saved that picture. 

In January of 2016; I was 285 Pounds. 

In July of 2016; I had started seeing a new doctor. 

He did all of my labs; for possibly the first time in over a decade, 

I was already down 40 pounds Since the beginning of the year. 

A few weeks later; the follow-up visit. 

I was prediabetic, and I would need to lose more weight. 

To be honest; I was actually a little crushed; when he said those words, because by August; somehow; I had already come back to 230. 

He wanted me to be 169 pounds or less. 

I sat in his office; with my wife; still looking horror-stricken with the words prediabetic ( HUGE HUGE FAMILY HISTORY)... I could see... My life was about to change when I walked out the doors of his office. 

I am sitting in the Doctors office; at that time I was 36, but I swear, my inner stubborn teenager came out, I argued with my doctor. I used the same excuse I have always used, hey doc, I am just big boned! 

He asked me - what MY ideal weight was, I said I don't know. 200 pounds,  I am tall, I have thick calf muscles, etc. 

And what is your next goal? 

I looked at him with the same blank state that my kids have, when I ask them to do, well anything. 

I said, let's work on me getting to 199, and then I will discuss other options, so he looks at me and says, okay, and I watched him write down the following on my file - "Goal weight - 165" 

By October 15th, 199.9 - It was the first time in my adult life, that I could remember seeing a number under 200.

It would take me until May of the next year to lose another 15 points. But while I was not losing pounds; I was losing inches. 

I went and checked in with my doctor. He was excited to see my progress. 

And he asked me again; what my goal weight was,. 

My Doctor is close to my age, so it is more candid than any of my previous doctors. 

So I say, Doc, you realize that I have lost around 100 pounds in the last oh I dunno 10 months. 

He said yes. 

I said, right now I just want to focus on keeping it off! 

In October of 2017. 

I walked into his office, weighing 165 pounds. 

By January of 2018, I weighed in at 150! 

It is June - and my weight is currently 143. 

I never went to the gym, and yes my diet has changed, but we didn't really start out by changing the foods we ate. 

I didn't do a bunch of sit-ups, pushups, or anything else that requires a boring time looking at muscles and hoping they will get bigger, but not cause you pain, but we did get up from the couch. 

So, can you really use your mind to obtain your physical goals?  

 

I would like to believe so.  

I created micro goals if I could lose 10 pounds, then goal down, if I slid backward, I would adjust my attitude.  

In my mind - Triple numbers to lose were scary. Triple numbers gave me a panic attack. So I started myself off with small goals and worked from there. Soon, 5 pounds turned into 10, and so on. With each accomplished mini goal, I was armed with more confidence. 

If this is a Journey you want to start; sometimes its hard to remember where you have been with; So start yourself a journal, 

I know, so 13 right?! 

My journal is a photo journal, as well as my personal social media. 

Here are a few things I recommend. 

Don't Pick a goal WEIGHT, pick an idea goal shape, size, look, something POSITIVE.
Find people who are going through the same thing; send encouragement; encouraging others, it helps with the micro wins. It allows you to bond with someone, it allows you to give and get advice, and it allows you be a positive infleunce on others.
3) Take your picture today - you will want them later. Take frequesnt pro
4) Get a belt. - (Mine used to be my wife's - and it didn't fit) - once the belt started to fit, I was happy, but then it started to run out of wholes. - Once I month, I take a drill to my belt and add wholes to the belt. (I generally wear the belt on Monday's, if I am having a rough day, it is a small reminder, that I can accomplish anything... IF I JUST PUT MY MIND TO IT. 

If I can do it; You can do it. 

If  you are not so sure; may I make a simple recommendation - Revisit The Little Engine That Could

Your Attitude Sucks! - Fix it!

Hi Friends! Here is another label for you -

Morbidly Obese.

Screw it! Here Goes Nothing!

(I have written, edited, and deleted this post about 10 times.)

I have been overweight, obese and/or morbidly obese since my teen years. I would lose some weight, then gain more back. I went to the gym - I did fitness classes - I would put muscle on; lose some weight; and slide... I feel like I have tried every diet.

So I would go from 185 to 180 to 190 to 185 then I became an adult and 185 became 210 to 250 to 230 and it would go up and down. When I reached 300 pounds I stopped stepping on the scale... it would just depress me.

In 2012, I was 330 pounds.

My wife, daughter and I started doing the belly fat cure, I still recommend this series, we were doing what we were supposed to, going to the gym, we ent to fitness classes. I gained muscle, lost weight. But life happens... And I found that I started putting it all back on.

By the beginning of 2016, I had gotten my weight back up to 285. Something had to change.

Yes! Something had to change. But I changed my diet a million times, I changed this and that.. what needed to change? Something had to change.

My wife likes to tell me; "your attitude sucks, fix it"

My label of Morbidly Obese needed to change as well.

As much as I hate to admit the following statement.

MY WIFE WAS RIGHT.

My attitude sucked, and I needed to fix it.

I have gone from a 48 BMI to a 20! From 330 Pounds to 145.

I have beat my own personal goals, I have beat the goals my doctor set for me, I am 38 years old, I have lost 60% of myself, and yet, I have new goals.

And that is where YOU come in.

I can tell you about my weight loss, and how it happened, but that is not enough.

Part of my journey is to make it to where others have the tools and support they need to do the same.

So, if you want in.. stay tuned...

(No I am not trying to sell some weight loss product, book, or anything else...)

I will share my experience, you can share yours...

You are wonderful.

I am a people watcher, and I always have been. Before airport security had to be increased, I would just go sit and watch people. There is nothing more honest than airport moments.

I have always been a wallflower, I am extremely shy until you get to know me. And then, you cannot get me to shut up. (See goals) I like to watch people, I should have been a psychologist because then I would be paid for my (most of the time unsolicited) advice.

Why am I a people watcher? I think at one point, it was so I could understand emotions and people a little better.
I have always felt as if I was not good enough, or that I can never do anything right, that am a loser, that I am a flat-out failure. I have been overweight all of my life (until recently) so I picked on my own looks so if others did, it didn't hurt as bad. I have always thought the worst of myself.

Someone mentioned to me, that they have watched me with my mother, that maybe I need to work out some of the issues from my childhood.

It made me stop for a second.


Dang!


So since the world is at my fingertips, I went to google, and typed in “feeling not good enough”

I found a lot of oddly fascinating articles.

Psychology Today had an article from the writer of Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers Her book - by Dr. Karyl McBride, Ph.D., P.C.


Therapist • Author • Speaker • Consultant


For the past twenty years, Dr. Karyl McBride has been involved in private research concerning the topic of narcissism and its debilitating effects on relationships.

The article is worth the read at the very least. I am the oldest child of three. My parents were both alcoholics and other addictive types of behavior. In other words my childhood is a mixed bag of good, bad, and seriously does this crap only happen to me.

I am actively trying to be more positive, about myself and others around me. I know that I say, I am sorry, or ‘sorry’ too often.

Why?


So, I am hard on myself. I always have been, how do you reprogram 38 years?

Are you too hard on yourself?

Today’s exercise: Reminders - You are wonderful.

You will need Post Its or Sticky Notes:

Write yourself reminders. Post them to your mirror in the bathroom, in a journal, all over the house, where ever!

(Might want to pick up a few packs of them!)

What is your label?

When you define yourself, what labels do you use?


One of the most anxiety-ridden statements or questions is :
Tell me about yourself?
Panic comes up in droves. Why?
As a society we create labels; when we create labels it is so we can create stereotypes.
These words I know that I have used to define myself.
Wife, Mother, Geek, Friend, Daughter, Sister, Lesbian, Nerd, Social Justice Warrior.
I say "I'm sorry" or "sorry" about 1000 times a day.
I have ADHD, NF, Dyslexia,  PMDD, and other issues as well but those arent bad things.

I don't know how many times I have heard myself say.
I am fat.
I am ugly.
I am retarded.
I will never be good enough.

I have heard the whispers of things being said about me; queer, mean, fat, ugly bully, stupid, etc.

We have all heard the old adage "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never break  (hurt) me."

This old adage doesn't work for me. 

Why? 

Because words do hurt. 

Labels and stereotypes hurt. 

How do you label yourself? How do others label you? And how do you feel about them? 

Tracy Chapman - "Talkin' About A Revolution" (Official Music Video)

Hello All!

I have been looking around lately, and I am not exactly happy with what I see; we have a lot of anti-social media. As people, we are lacking. We are lacking in a lot of areas.

We need more compassion, understanding, direction, love, human kindness, self-determination, and support.

In this day in age, the world is at our fingertips.

Why is this world feel like it is turning colder, rallies in the streets, hate speeches, that come from high ranking people.

‘Don't you know you're talking about a revolution

It sounds like a whisper’ - Tracy Chapman - Revolution.

So, Digital Someone - Is my whisper.  

If I have learned nothing from the last 38 years of life, is that it takes a village!

So my proposal is if you are looking for “something”. I suggest we build a community together, one of, compassion, understanding, autonomy, direction, love, human kindness, and support.

Let support each other in finding our own self-determination.

Today we start small, tomorrow we grow, and the future is limitless.

 

Hello World.

One of my favorite quotes is
“Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible,
and suddenly you are doing the impossible. - Francis of Assisi”

Together; let’s do the impossible.

This is going to be an environment for personal growth.

Learn something new, teach someone something.

Need advice, give advice.

This is going to be a positive space.

We are not perfect; we have never claimed to be.

This is going to be an accepting community.

I have been hearing a lot of people lately; say, I just need someone to talk to….

So Hi!

What is your the quote the inspires you?